In the eternal words of Michael McLean...

"I cryyyyy the day that I take the tree down..."  Okay - not cry exactly - but I was sad to put the tree away, mostly because I realized that by this time next year, I'll be gone from Jordan...cue soft tears.

Devastatingly Handsome

I have never seen a creature so mortified. Although I prefer to call it a Christmas Cape, Willy clearly recognized it for what the label claimed it was, a dress. And he was so embarrassed that he refused to move, once I put it on. 

Which actually worked out quite nicely, when it came to taking pictures.

Never you fear. He got his revenge...at some point during the evening, he stole my York Peppermint Patty off the coffee table, took it to the forbidden front room, ripped it open and licked it, before rejecting it and pooping on the rug. 

I debated for a long while after finding the Peppermint Patty, which was untouched save for one delicate bite mark...and then ate it. Chocolate is chocolate, after all.

Christmas Eve at the Movies

I went with a friend to see The Impossible tonight. Maybe not the most cheery choice. I came out with visions of the Dead Sea rising up in an apocalyptic wave and sweeping me, Susan and Willy apart - would we find each other in the aftermath? 

But I was heartened to see the movie theatre had gotten into the Christmas spirit:

Christmas Jealousy...

I got a great package the other day with some candy, fruit smiles, and presents inside. I immediately transferred the presents from their USPS box to the base of the tree, happy to finally have something to put under there.  Then I left the room to eat some fruit smiles and make dinner.  

I passed back through the room 15 minutes later to find a wrapping paper-strewn crime scene. Willy, clearly consumed by a bout of extreme jealousy at not receiving any presents of his own, had taken his revenge, tearing varying amounts of wrapping paper off three of the presents. Caught in the act, he grabbed the fourth and fled under Susan's bed.

Luckily, I was able to gather them up and throw them back into the packing box with only one accidental glimpse (revealing...Step Up: Revolution! Yes!).  

Step Up: Revolution

Fast Five - at last, the set is complete!

Hunger Games - pretty sure my Peeta crush makes me a pedophile!

Battleship! (you can just barely see his teeth marks, where he tried to rip but was caught...

Rock Band!!

After finishing a "Sunday" (aka Friday) dinner of some delicious enchiladas and cherry chocolate cake, we put on Lego Rock Band.  The boys had actually been playing just the drums and guitar, without the TV/game/sound accompaniment, for about 45 minutes when the grown-ups finally got around to joining them.  When we turned on the actual game, it turned epic.

 

look at that form - they were each playing half the drum set

 

this is how he sang the entire time...don't worry, I sanitized the microphone afterwards

Gonna miss these girls...

I realize life has to move on and change and people come and go.  But it is always sad when it happens.  I don't know who will eat all my candy now that these girls are gone...

In Which Willy Tries to Destroy the Laptop

Willy hates the laptop, his one rival for Susan's affections.  Here, for your viewing pleasure, his attempt to destroy his enemy:

Christmas in Jordan!

Susan and I joined some friends last night at the Greek Catholic Cathedral of Saint George for a Christmas concert.  Although I contend three renditions of "Ave Maria" is two too many, it was a beautiful concert overall.  The acoustics were incredible and we enjoyed listening to our friend, James, sing a solo in a surprisingly moving version of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen.

Best of all - there was red and garlands and trees and lights everywhere so I got my Christmas decoration fix for the week!

Susan's new goal is to have this chandelier in her house one day

In Which We Eat the Best Burgers in Town for Free

Today Susan and I stopped by Fatty Dab's Burger Shack to help them celebrate their First Anniversary.  

We are both deathly ill with colds at the moment, so excuse us not looking our best. But we couldn't pass up the opportunity for Fatty Dab's, especially as in this case it was free! These guys have the best burgers, fries, shakes and cookies in town.  If only they had some cajun spice for their fries, they'd even rival Five Guys...

Car "Inspection"

I drove to Marka today to complete my yearly car inspection.  After a 25 minute drive (thank goodness for a lengthy Christmas playlist), I finally arrived at the car inspection facility where I was ushered into a chute-like line of cars, that was inching towards a large door into an even larger warehouse.  On either side of me were other chute-like lines of cars on either side, four deep.

I had a sudden flashback to Upton Sinclair and Temple Grandin and wondered what would await me at the end of the chute. I was particularly worried because Sherry, as much as I love him, is the world's worst car and, I suspect, one thin layer of duct tape and chicken wire from falling apart.  

Turns out the inspection consisted of the following three steps:

1.  Release the hood latch so the inspector can glance inside for approximately five seconds before slamming it shut.

2.  Press on the brake pedal so the inspector can see...I guess that your brake lights are functioning (glad he didn't check the actual brakes because as I was driving to Marka, my "Anti-lock Brakes" warning light came on).

3.  Press on the gas pedal so the inspector can see...I guess that your exhaust pipe is working and your engine can revvvvvvvv.  Sorry - couldn't come up with any other purpose for pressing the gas pedal.

I passed with flying colors apparently because I was given a piece of paper with a pretty stamp on it and drove through the other end of the chute without being shocked by any cattle prods.

A Very Scary Blowout

Susan and I headed to Jerusalem this weekend with a few friends.  On the way down, we rounded a corner and, suddenly, there was a clunking noise and smoke and the car was veering back and forth.  "To the right, steer to the right".  We ended up to the left, in a turning lane because Sherry is just stubborn like that.  

Luckily, our friends were pretty manly and were able to take off the tire, which looked like someone had decided to remove just the face of the tire with surgical precision. 

Just as they were finishing, a police patrol van pulled up and the Captain offered to escort us to a local tire shop. The police patrol (which turned out to be full of policemen) stayed with us, chatting and supervising as the local tire guy found something to put on the car. They seemed astonished that the boys allowed their "wives" to drive and one of them, quite taken with Susan, invited us to his home for a traditional Jordanian feast.  

The whole thing only ended up taking about 30 minutes and $45.  A painless end to what could have been really painful.

Highlights from Jerusalem

In 36 hours, we managed to walk the Via Dolorosa, explore Ben Yehuda and Jaffa Street, eat in Mahane Yehuda Market, visit the City of David and Mount Zion, jaunt over to Bethlehem (where we utterly failed at actually seeing anything), stop by the Western Wall, and ponder in the Garden of Gethsemane and Garden Tomb. 

We also ate baclava, falafel, schawarma, apple bread, burgers, bagels, schnitzel and so very many cups of delicious juice (including one approved by Chuck Norris!).

Lastly, we did a little shopping for Roman Glass and Mormon Olive Wood. Along with an epic search for a legit made-in-Israel metal juicer.

 

some Scouts practicing their bagpipes

 

outside the Citadel, on the ramparts of the Old City

 

getting ready to walk through the "dry" version of Hezekiah's Tunnel

 

 

stymied at every turn in Bethlehem

 

graffiti by real Palestinians, instead of that poser Banksy

 

no caption necessary

 

Hannukah at the Western Wall

 

a little gardening in Gethsemane

Locking Up at the Holy Sepulchre

At the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, the relationship between the religious sects who control the various portions of the church is so contentious that a local Muslim family holds the keys and opens the doors in the morning and locks it up at night.  

It never occurred to me that you could actually witness the whole thing until tonight, when we were kicked out by the monks at closing time and got to watch the church being locked up.

everything is all set to lock up

climbing up the ladder to lock the doors

passing the ladder through a tiny panel in the door and shutting the panel - all locked up

Life is short...and then you die

I woke up suddenly at 330 AM. I turned on my light, to check out the landscape, not exactly awake or sure where I was. There, on the wall, right by my fingers, was a mosquito and I instinctively swatted.

Imagine my surprise when I found myself with blood all over my fingers, having actually, maybe for the first time ever, succeeded in killing a mosquito I was swatting at. As I stared at the crushed and broken body, I experienced a moment of remorse. Here this poor bug was just resting from her labors, belly full of blood, life was good, and then, suddenly, its all over and her babies are dying of hunger. A whole generation cut down.

Then I finally was totally awake and remembered that this was a mosquito and probably its whine was the reason I was awake at 330 AM and the death of its babies was good riddance. So I took a picture and went back to bed.

Don't Mind Me...

Oh, Hello.  I'm just a small hungry dog who only wants to share just a few of your Nerds Bumpy Jelly Beans...

Baptism Site

We headed down to the Baptism Site today. We got the audio guide, hopped on the bus, and started diligently listening to stop number one.

Sadly, several stops - John the Baptist's Spring and surrounding wilderness - were closed due to a lack of water making them ugly and unfit for tourists to view. But Susan dutifully listened through audio guide stop 14, as we made our way around the site, and was appropriately indoctrinated that the true baptism site is in Jordan..."these things were done in Bethabara beyond Jordan, where John was baptizing" (John 1:28, emphasis added by the Jordanian Ministry of Tourism).

After seven previous visits, I'm pretty much an expert. But I did learn a few new things...for example, did you know that Christ's baptismal witnesses were a man and an angel who were riding dolphins? Or that Christ had a four-pack? I didn't either!

By the end, we were a little bored and, since we already knew we'd been cheated out of several stops on the tour, we decided to listen at random to the rest of the stops listed on the audio guide card (it goes through 30) to see whether we missed anything else or whether they just got ambitious in their numbering ("Someday, this will be the BapDisneyland Site and we'll have rides at the end!"). 

Turns out I was grossly cheated on all those previous trips. Although numbers 23 to 30 are being reserved for the future rides and Slushee stands, numbers 15 to 23 involve all kinds of exciting wonders including cave churches, the Rhotorius Monastery (which we initially thought was the much cooler Notorious Monastery), the ancient town of Saphsapha and Elijah's Hill. Lame.