I admit it...

I saw Twilight tonight. It was ridiculously melodramatic but I expected no less.

I had many questions, coming out of the theatre:

1. Why was Bella's wedding dress so ugly? To go along with her super ugly engagement ring?

2. Why did Edward pick Rio as a honeymoon spot if he glows like a diamond in the sun? Is that why they arrived and departed at night?

3. Why were there so many feathers floating around the honeymoon suite? Is Edward so good in bed that he makes pillows explode?

4. Why was there only one scene with Jacob shirtless?

5. Why has Carlisle Cullen's hair been a different color in every single one of these movies?

6. Why did the sound effects accompanying Edward biting into Bella sound like a juicy plum splatting on the sidewalk?

7. Given the gravity of the situation, once the baby was out, why did Edward take the time to hold her up to the light, Simba-style, and let Bella admire the baby?

8. How many poor little girls have been named "Renesmee" since 02 August 2008 (the publication date of Twilight: Breaking Dawn)?

**I should caveat this by saying that I read all of the books and have seen all the movies and so am qualified to semi-make fun of them.  It's a love-hate relationship.  I hate that I kinda love them.